Sitting on the porch where we once met, where you once wrapped your arms around me and where your fingers danced on my skin and drew circles-Where prima donna sang and ballets danced to the music your heavy breaths made when i tasted your lips.
Sitting on the porch where our hands once met, and our eyes back then was the start of the apocalypse.
Sitting on the porch looking at the stars calling your name, and cursing the stars for burning our stars in the name of it was never meant to be, i begged the stars to change our stars before cursing it, but it burned it to the point it was shining like the moon, the moon where we once kissed under.
Sitting on the porch waiting for you to knock the door i left half open if you ever decide that I was the one for you.
I kept wondering and wandering while holding your favourite vodka borrelglas, calling out your name and begging the world to make you feel the way i felt when you decided to go with no explanation served on the table and no goodbye while walking out of the room.
I hugged the sheets we once laid beneath and smelled the scent of cigarettes mixed with love and lies that you kept whispering in my mouth, you treated me like one of your plants and kept watering me lies and lies. I sniffed your lies as if they were my heroine; what would i do? You got me hooked up on you.
You never truly existed, not in the way i wanted you to, my mind kept playing games with me convinced me that I’m the one to blame. Sitting on the porch where my soul fell for yours and where its hanging now; hanging between letting go or waiting til you decide that im what you want again.
Sitting on the porch where i once wrote about you, talked about how happy you made me once feel, and where i drew the future i wanted with you, sitting on the porch where we crossed our fingers and promised for a better tomorrow.
How come that now I’m sitting on the porch crying oceans for you, with my heart on my sleeves and tears streaming down my face; trying to drown what i feel for you- but it keeps floating on the surface with a hundred questions and million what if’s and maybe’s.
I sat on the porch where i dreamt about kissing you and touching your skin, with my one too many sins thinking where did i go wrong to be so undeserving of your holy love?
You had me under your spill with just one look in my eyes, and wrapped me with the word special, and now that you’re gone i can’t seem to strip the words and the lies you fed me and I’m here on the same old porch where i dreamt about forever with you, watching every hope i had in you and every dream falling down like leaves do.
My soul was screaming with words my tongue couldn’t say when you said we’re better off as strangers again, but how can i experience loss and heartbreak if you were never mine in the first place?
Bittersweet love 