thoughts of you, come like waves do.

I dont love you anymore, i swear i don’t.

But sometimes you cross my mind , and it leaves my body aching and yearning to your touch.

I don’t love you anymore, i swear i don’t.

But sometimes i think about what we could’ve been, and all the sacrifices I’ve done, and how all of that wasn’t enough for you to stay.

I don’t miss you anymore, but sometimes i look at our pictures, and i find tears falling down drowning my inside, and my chest starts hurting so much that i can barely breathe.

I don’t love you anymore, i swear i don’t.

But i miss how good i felt when i was with you, i miss the late night talks and losing sleep just to make sure you’re okay, I miss staying on the line with you until you fall asleep.

And while you were asleep, i used to think about our future, i miss you asking me what colour you want our room to be-I never answered you back then, but i didn’t mind living in any place, under any roof, good or bad, as long as it meant i would wake up next to you. I miss how i would’ve crossed the world every single second just to feel your breath next to mine, just to play with your hair, and hug you a little tighter-just like you once imagined.

Should’ve known that imagination will never come true, and thats on me.

I don’t miss you anymore, but i miss drunk calling you, i miss how genuine i was with you, i miss telling you how beautiful you look, and i miss sending you pictures of me to remind you that im worthy of it, to remind you, that i too am beautiful.

I miss feeling like im so worthy of love, like im worthy of your time and we’re not just wasting it.

I miss hearing your stories, and how ambitious you were-perhaps you still are.

But i don’t miss you anymore, i miss all the possibilities and all of the what if’s, and i think i miss the pain of waiting for your text, or you telling me that i look so pretty that i made you lose control, but i don’t miss you anymore, i miss your laugh, and how you have one eye bigger than the other, i miss your laugh and the way you snore when you fall asleep.

I miss feeling like i meant something, anything to you, but you as a person? Screw you.

You as a person? You were one fucked up person that’s hurt and bled on me, and i accepted that, thinking maybe if i were your bandage that would make you stay, but even bandage are thrown away when they are full of blood and cant take no more.

I don’t love you anymore, i promise you i don’t, but sometimes when its late at night you’re all i think about.