Remember , remember how i was humming your name to the birds every night and every day
Remember, please remember how i loved you with every cell in me, how i intoxicated every fibre in me to keep you around
Remember, and don’t you ever forget the way i danced with my fingertips on your silky milk skin , how i used to wish you were mine, although you’ve always said that we’re a deadend.
Remember, remember my dear how i used to scream my lungs out in hopes you’d hear how much pain i have inside of me, how i used to call you red, and how you painted my wounds red-and said that’s only to prove my point.
Remember and don’t you ever forget how i was ready to pack my bags and run to your arms, and when i almost did that, i found you pushing me farther away, as far as you could.
Remember all the nights i spent crying over the loss of something that was never mine, how i stayed up all night making sure you’re alive, how i prayed all night for your happiness and never for mine.
Remember how i begged you not to go, how i begged you to notice how much i care and how much i loved you, how i used to choose your outfits with you, how i used to collect your tears and kiss your wounds -in ways i hoped you did to me.
Remember how many times I’ve written you in my poetry, and how you cussed me when you found our tragic story between the lines, how you blamed me for ruining something you never wanted it to be in the first place.
Remember how i used to knock your doors even after you locked them right before my eyes, how i used to sleep on your porch begging you to give us one more chance, as if us was ever in your plans to make it happen.
Remember how i used to cry on your shoulder, begging you not to hurt my feelings and how you used to promise that you’d never do that, til it became a daily ritual, and making me live in so much pain became a habit of yours;in order to feel alive, in order to be happy, and how i sacrificed my own happiness for a touch from you, or even a push that would make me sink in the seas-seas from my own tears.
Remember when you first asked me to write about you, in love poems that history would speak about, and people would envy you for having your personal poet, and now that i write about what you made me feel, you said you no longer a fan of me, that I’m no good as a poet, now that im writing about the tragic love i had with you-or i thought i did, you packed all the pens and papers and threw them away, with whats left of my broken heart pieces.
Remember how i was kind with you, even when you did nothing but break my heart, and tinder even when you made me live in thunderstorms , and how i begged you to fix things even while you were breaking them, how i used to beg you to make me yours, even when i watched you kissing another’s lips, even when i watched you wrapping your arms around someone else’s waist, how i used to bite my tongue so i wouldn’t say words that would hurt your feelings, how i used to hit my hand before touching someone else’s-silly me, back then i thought it was real.
Remember how i promised to never take off your ring, and how you took the necklace off the second we called it quit, how i promised to keep you in my wishes and hopes, and never erase the memory of you, and how you ran to her arms in hopes you’d forget how good i once made you feel, how you ran and started making memories with someone new, how you started doing everything i begged you not to do.
How i was ready to take a bullet for you, and you weren’t even ready to cross a road for me.
I hope you’ll always remember, that i was the home with two eyes, i was the home and escape from your reality, i hope you’ll always remember i really wanted you to be that safe city for me, but instead you turned out to be the city i want to run out from.
I hope you always remember how i really wanted it to be you, when you wanted everyone but me.
And if i hear the word “care” out of your lips once again, then dear i promise you only then you’ll prove me that even Santa is real.
Bittersweet love 